The Importance of Communication in Co-Parenting

Co-parenting means that two parents work together to raise their children even though they are no longer a couple. Good co-parenting helps kids feel safe, loved, and supported. It also shows them that even when adults have differences, they can still work as a team for their children’s happiness.

One of the most important parts of co-parenting is communication. Communication means sharing information clearly and honestly. This includes telling each other about important dates like school events, doctor visits, sports games, and birthday parties. When parents talk and share these things, it helps the children know what to expect and makes them feel included and cared for (American Psychological Association, 2020).

When one parent does not communicate important dates, it can cause a lot of problems. The other parent might miss an important event, like a school play or a soccer game. This can make children feel hurt, disappointed, and even unloved. They may wonder why their other parent was not there. They might even blame themselves, thinking they did something wrong. This can hurt their confidence and make them feel stressed (National Institute of Child Health and Human Development, 2021).

Not sharing information can also cause fights between the parents. When parents argue a lot, children often feel stuck in the middle. They might feel like they have to choose sides, which is very hard and confusing for them. Children do best when they feel like both parents are working together for them, not against each other (Kelly, 2012).

Missing important events also makes it harder for the child to build a strong relationship with both parents. Children need time with each parent to feel close and connected. Being at events like concerts, games, or ceremonies shows children that their parents care about their lives. When one parent misses out, it can make the child feel like that parent does not care enough, even if that is not true (Saini, 2016).

Helpful Tips for Parents Who Need Information

If you are the parent who is not getting important dates and updates, there are ways you can help fix the problem.

1. Stay calm and polite. Fighting will not make things better for your child. Try sending a short, friendly message asking for updates about school, sports, or doctor visits. It helps to ask nicely and to be clear about what information you need.

2. Ask the school, coaches, or doctors if you can get copies of schedules and notices yourself. Many schools and teams will send information to both parents if you ask.

3. Suggest using a shared calendar online. Apps like OurFamilyWizard or Google Calendar let both parents see and update important events.

4. Keep a positive attitude. Even if the other parent is not helpful at first, showing that you want to stay involved in your child's life is the most important thing. Your child will notice your efforts and feel your love.

In the end, children feel safer and happier when they know their parents are on the same team. When parents share important dates and work together, children learn about teamwork, respect, and love. Good co-parenting builds stronger families and helps kids grow up feeling secure and supported.

References

American Psychological Association. (2020). Parenting after separation and divorce. https://www.apa.org/topics/divorce/parenting

Kelly, J. B. (2012). Risk and protective factors associated with child and adolescent adjustment following separation and divorce: Social science applications. In Parenting plan evaluations: Applied research for the family court (pp. 49–84). Oxford University Press.

National Institute of Child Health and Human Development. (2021). Supporting children through divorce. https://www.nichd.nih.gov/health/topics/divorce

Saini, M. A. (2016). Parenting coordination: A guide for practitioners. American Psychological Association.